Thursday, July 28, 2005

 

at a crossroads...

It's not a huge deal, really. I just need to decide on a few things priority-wise.

So I don't know if I've ever touched on this before, but I have been thinking about running the Chicago 1/2 Marathon this coming September. Before anyone goes on a tirade about me not needing to run, I'm already slim, whatever, yes, I know that I am petite. But this has nothing to do about my weight. It's about me and what I want to accomplish just for me. The whole medical school thing, yes, I have always wanted it for myself, but it's not just for me. It's for my parents, my family, my friends as well, if that makes any sense.

I am planning to apply to enter an Emergency Medicine residency. A friend of mine did a little research and discovered that in last year's Match, EM placed in the top 5 residencies that people applied for. Which means that it's uber competitive. I have already made a few mistakes that may hinder me in getting an EM residency in the Chicagoland area. Which means that I have to kick ass on my Step 2 Board exams. Both the DO and the MD boards. I know I am smart, but the question is, will I be smart enough? I listen to other students around me when we get asked questions or when we discuss things, and I can't help but think, "Oh geez, I'm a monkey with a bachelor's degree..."

And this is where the crossroads comes in. I need to place my priorities in the right place. As I was running today, it dawned on me how much I still need to prepare for the Boards. And I thought to myself, they're a month away, and I NEED to haul ass studying. Plus, I need to do my application for the residencies (luckily, it's 1 application to apply to all these residencies), and write my personal statement for the application. Running-wise, I haven't even cracked 5 miles yet. I just don't feel like I have time for anything, let alone training. I know my time management skills aren't fabulous, but after 9-10 hours running around a hospital, I'm exhausted both mentally and physically. And today's run just wasn't going well at all - I might as well have been running with lead pipes strapped to my legs.

I figure, sacrifice a short-term goal so I can reach the long term goal. The 1/2 marathon will be there next year. I can run the Race for the Cure this fall. And I will continue to run. Who knows, maybe I'll even have the chutzpah to run the full marathon (probably not, the internship year is hell). I have wanted to be a doctor almost my whole life, and I need to keep that in the front of my mind.

I don't know. Maybe this rotation (Internal Medicine inpatient - all in the hospital) is just keeping me so busy and making me feel, well, not particularly intelligent that my confidence is iffy. Who am I kidding, my self-confidence is generally iffy. =) Maybe I just need validation that I'm not a weenie for delaying my marathon plan. I feel like I'm giving up on the running thing, that I'm being weak because I can't balance all the things on my plate.

I'm not writing this to garner pity. I know that I have been blessed in my life. I'm just confused and a little scared, and I needed to get it off my chest.

Claud 10:55 PM 

Saturday, July 23, 2005

 

Why country music amuses me...


Because a song like this probably wouldn't fly on Top 40... best song I've heard all week...

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size
Well, I've been known to cause a few breakups
And I've been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from work

(And) (Yes) since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux, France
(I've) been makin' the bars
Lots 'a big money
And helpin' white people dance
(Yeah,) I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol, alcohol

I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrassing speech
And also for those naked pictures of you at the beach
I've influenced Kings and world leaders
I helped Hemingway write like he did
And I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head

'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux, France
I've been makin' a fool
Out of folks just like you
And helpin' white people dance
I am medicine, and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol

"Alcohol" - Brad Paisley

Heh, heh....

Claud 10:23 PM 

Thursday, July 14, 2005

 

you like? me like...

They're not big changes, but I finally added some links. And I figured I should put the wedding countdown thing in so that I can remind myself just how long I have to continue procrastinating on the "little" things. Wow. I guess that's all I changed.

However, I am beginning the hunt for a dress. As a matter of fact, I am currently scoping a bridal gown designer's website in another window so I can get a grasp as to what I'd be interested in. I just hope I can stick to a budget. Well, I hope I can stick to a budget on anything related to this wedding. Oy.

OK, gotta go pack now. The little nomad's tour of the Chicagoland area continues on back home...

Claud 5:35 PM 

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

 

of course this is how it goes...

So about 2 1/2 hours ago I ran for 30 minutes in drizzle/light rain because I figured it would either keep raining or get worse.

Now it's sunny out.

Dammit.

Claud 4:27 PM 

Friday, July 08, 2005

 

a wicked good time...

Yesterday, for our respective birthdays, Melanie treated me, Fata, Christine, Chariya, & Kim to the Broadway in Chicago production of “Wicked”. It’s the story of how things once were in Oz, and how the Wicked Witch of the West & Glinda came to be.

As one of my former Boston-bred attending docs would say... It was wicked awesome.

I’ve never read the novel. From what my sisters and Mel said, the musical is not the book. Well, at least not all of it. Christine spent the first 20 minutes with this, “uh, no, that’s not how it goes” look on her face. But if you can get that line of thinking out of your head, it’s great. I loved it.

Well, the vast majority of it. I was slightly freaked out by the flying monkeys and the clown-resembling poofy things. Okay, fine, I had to hold Christine & Chariya’s hands when the monkeys and clowns came out.

It was a great story. It puts both Glinda and the Wicked Witch of the West in a different light. The line between good & evil isn’t so clear cut. Their relationship is very interesting. I don’t know how many times I went “ohhhh..” when I realized that they explained something came to be in “The Wizard of Oz”.

Ana Gasteyer played Elphaba, and did an amazing job. She was a regular on Saturday Night Live – the one who played Bobbie Moughan-Culp (the singing teacher duo with Will Ferrell) and Celine Dion. I was surprised when I saw she was in the show – I didn’t know she was doing musical theater. I always thought when she did Celine Dion that wow, she actually sounds good. But last night, after she did her first song, all I could do was turn to Chariya and say, “Wow.”

Glinda was played by Kristin Reinders, who sounds a lot more like Kristin Chenoweth (who originated the role on Broadway) than I would have thought that anyone could have. Ana & Kristin’s comedic timing was great – they make a great team.

All in all, it was a great time and a great time with my girls. Thanks again, Mel!

heh heh... mangaroo... heh heh....

Claud 12:05 PM 

Monday, July 04, 2005

 

pass the fat pants... and the lipitor...

Ohhh. Soooo full. I've been eating almost nonstop for the last 3 days. And I'm pretty sure not all of it has been healthy. Luckily, I haven't eaten myself sick...yet. However, I have done the whole eat a bunch, let it settle for 30 minutes, eat again, repeat the cycle. I think I've eaten the equivalent of a half gallon of ice cream, a chicken, a side of pig... well, that's what I can remember - the rest is all so fuzzy. Right now I'm coming down from a bbq spareribs high/food coma. If ever I needed a Lipitor, it's now.

Oooh... brats for dinner... be back later...

I know, I'm a glutton for punishment. Good thing they were giving out Pepcid at the Taste of Chicago.

Claud 3:27 PM